Month 5 of 12

I started off this year with one of my biggest goals being consistency. I was going to show up as much as I could with everything in my life.

Career, self, relationships and more.

I started off this year with all the positivity I could garner with the usual hoorah of “this year is my year”.

I was going to succeed in every aspect.

I started off this year alive and ready. If life knocks me down, I was going to punch back with everything I’ve got.

5 months later…

I cannot say I haven’t punched back. It may not have been a big one but it sure made a dent, no matter how small. So, I have to give myself my flowers.

I cannot say I haven’t been the positive light that I have always tried to be. Even though there have been some days that the clouds managed to steal my sunshine. I cannot tell a lie, it has not been easy.

I cannot say I haven’t shown up every single day. I wasn’t always on time, at my one hundred, or at my brightest. But I was there, ready or not.

Here’s the gist…

There’s always going to be something. Whether it’s a happy time, a sad time, or just a waiting time. Life is very dynamic and I like to think that’s the beauty of it. Sometimes everything is falling into place, other times “the gods must be crazy”.

In all this, you can only try. Making sure to put one step in front of the other every time. You take the wrong turn? Try again. You fall? Try again. You’re on the smooth path? Keep trying.

I don’t think it’s going to be easy, after all, nothing good comes easy. I do believe that it’s a cycle of this thing called Life. Good, bad, ugly. It was meant to be. A rite of passage, if you will.

I heard someone say “when you’re up against the wall, there’s only one other way to go and that’s the opposite direction.” My version? Maybe you could break the wall. Think outside the box for a change.

As long as you’re working on yourself, you’re pushing, you’re doing all you know to do. Give yourself grace. Your blooming season will surely come.

It’s only been five months in the year and I must say it’s been a crazy ride. Some very high highs, some very magical moments, and of course the occassional chaos…The beauty in every season.

So, that I would fail to give myself grace, that I will throw myself a pity party, that I will give up, is where I draw the line.