How to Adult

Living in one of the third world countries has to be by far one of the hardest ways to adult. I mean, the simplest of things is just hard for no particular reason. I like to think I was born here for a reason; I like to think when the universe was picking me and throwing me through the tubes to where I have eventually landed wasn’t a mistake. It was faith. It was good. After all, everything God does is good.

Adulthood according to biology begins at 20 to 21. However, I also read that it is a process or a condition of maturity. Where I am from, if you are not exactly privileged you can be forced to grow up. No, I do not think that in itself is bad. If I choose to focus on the bright side of the lemons thrown at us. I would say it toughens the young ones and makes them wise and ready to face challenges. But while I sit to make my lemonades, I can’t help but notice the taste that leaves me wondering about my young self. My ability to dream, to explore, to become that is taken away from me, pushing and forcing me to bloom prematurely.

I speak from what I know, not discrediting anyone else’s journey or where they come from….

Now, as an adult, biologically and theoretically speaking, I am not sure I know how to do this adulting thing well enough. I thought I had life figured out. Go to school, work hard and live a happy life. Boy, was I wrong! In the words of a friend Moyin, I think I may be struggling too. How exactly do I, adult? I actually did some research because maybe I’m doing something wrong, maybe I could go back to where I missed it and fix it. Just maybe. All I get though are endless lists of step-by-step guides that seem to only work in a world where a spade can be a spade and really just be.

In the end, I still do not know how to adult very much. I also do not intend to write more lists containing more things along the lines of cutting down sugar, getting more or fewer hours of sleep, or having a morning routine. All these are great. Do them, live by them. But honestly, when the world decides that it’s your turn for it to lounge upon your shoulders. Third world country or not. When it seems like there’s no place to disappear and be invisible. When you try and put in your one hundred and it still doesn’t meet up. When you try to make the best out of those lemons but end up short….

Here are my two cents. Something I have learned in my life and times of adulting…

Everything won’t always work out the way you want. But you can’t stop yourself from trying, from living, from exploring.

It is very okay to cry. It relieves your chest from the knot and helps you breathe better. Sometimes you fall asleep and when you’re up you feel like you can give life another punch. Careful though life will punch back but keep those feet firm this time.

If it’s meant to be, I promise you it will be. Nothing can ever change God’s plan for you. You only need to trust.

Beginnings are scary, and endings are usually sad but it’s what’s in the middle that counts. So, when you find yourself at the beginning give hope a chance to float and it most definitely will (I got this from the movie Hope Floats but a principle I live by). I put down some of my thoughts about it. I’ll love for you to check it out. My friend Andi says that ‘endings aren’t always sad’ but they can be. I think I like that version as well.

It’s hard yes, but worry, self-doubts and the biggest pity parties won’t solve anything. You may be down today but you’ve got this.

The will of God will never take you to a place the grace of God will not protect you. A friend Daniella once said to me yes there’ll be disappointments but you’ve got to pray for the strength to cope with them.

Deliberately build good relationships. Older friends are really cool. Trust me on that one.

There’s no lemon so sour, that you cannot make something resembling lemonade. From the series This is Us. Because Zoe literally has knocked it into my head. I joke. I joke. She writes beautiful newsletters by the way subscribe here.

Finally, be kind to yourself because who else will?